Have you always remembered your first best friend in grade school?
How about that person who made a promise with you?.. Saying about
never fail to look back the days of laughter…

I do…

And it’s not even being trapped in the past.
It’s about really keeping those promises. And
keeping your words…

For years of separation from friends that I was holding closest
to me, I’ve always wondered about what should’ve been,
what should’ve not been. Regrets were very annoying.
Especially if you’re living with one everyday. But the
hardest part is when you come to realize, those you’ve
been regretted with for years weren’t really like it supposed to be.
Cause it’s supposed to happen. You just really gotta let it, and
that’s how it is.. Mistakes you keep committing,
and lessons you just have to learn…

I realize that people grow up with perfect reasons to change,
with perfect excuses not to stay the same. But why with all
that faking it? What’s up with not choosing the right choices of
just something REAL over the prided things with huge egos?

I get it…
Friends are just people you are attached to..
So they’re still just people… who leave and depart
when the time comes, and arrives back with no
specific time and no assurance of solidity…

Some bonds that are meant to be forgotten, and connections
that are always vulnerable for cutting..

In all kinds of relationships, that’s all there is….

No wonder nobody stays happy….

Why does love hurt so much?

Love does not have to hurt but it often seems to. When you listen to the music of love
you will hear it telling stories about the pain and sorrow of unfulfilled love. Someone
left, someone cheated, or someone died and left someone sad and alone. Love is such a
strong positive emotion that it is inevitable that there will be some pain associated with
it at some time. This is Nature’s law of opposites. For every force there is an equal and
opposite force to hold it in balance. As much as our love would soar as a bird on the air,
there is gravity to bring it back to earth…sometimes falling but usually gliding.

The truth, however, is that love does not hurt but it is the falling out of love or not
having love that really hurts. And the higher you are, such as in the heights of passion
or the tower of a long-term love, the harder the fall.

We all need two things in life 1. To not be alone or feel alone, and 2. To be
appreciated and loved for whom we are. Love brings us together and loneliness reminds us
that we are missing something in life. You may not even understand it but the forces are
there. We seek fulfillment in the love of others when we often need to love ourselves just
as much.

Unfortunately the word love is used far too often or perhaps the bond
associated with that word is perceived to be far stronger that it
actually is.

"My head tells me what to do but my heart says different."

I never really preferred myself to rely with my emotions. Usually I get frustrated. Thinking myself foolish. I always tell myself to act better, and do better, coz I know better than anybody else. But trying to avoid self-deluded misconceptions, I also counter these thoughts by considering the people around me. I want to make them feel free to approach me. Coz one day I’ll be needing to approach them too.

But these days, my being a loner personality hits me back again. I feel like I want to stay separated from others. I wanna be alone for a moment. But can’t seem to let go. I wonder why??? For instance, when I feel alone again, I think of the people I wanna be with. I blame myself even sometimes for not paying attention. They sure deserve my attention for they have treated me well for quite sometime…

"They", are my friends.. Ones that I want to keep close to me..
What I am feeling right now is difficult. Been mixing everything again, sinking and keeping it all to myself. I know I have more friends now to count to than ever. But I just can’t seem to let it out. I have been ignoring their concerns and accepted my own. I know I’m being selfish.. I even know the answers to my questions.. But it’s not that easy… never that easy for me…

I need to be sure….
About something that’s bothering me…
And I need that distance to have my head cleared…

I just wish I can tell that to my dearest friends..
and to some people I wanna hold close….

OVERWHELMING…
This MULTITASKING has become overrated..hehe almost…
man, I need more energy!! Need more time!!! Sleep is a Must!! But I miss out lot of things…arrgh!!!

Damn…
Am I in love????
been a while now lately too…
Let’s see…Let’s see…

The Promise!!! OMG…gotta hold on to it..

But what to do???? God help me…